I use Uphold to deposit funds from my U.S. bank account into crypto so I can forward the funds onto third-party exchanges to buy tokens you don’t support. What should I do now?

Business as usual. Just use a credit or debit card to make your deposit and you can send the funds  to external crypto wallets after only 24h (settlement period).

The 65 days cooldown only applies to ACH deposits from U.S. banks.